30 and single? Welcome! Grab a seat!
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  • Writer's pictureBrenda

30 and single? Welcome! Grab a seat!

Oh, you thought you would be married by now, didn't you?

When you were 25, you just knew you would have the perfect husband and maybe a kid or 2 by your 30th birthday. You had already envisioned your husband either throwing you a great and lavish surprise party or whisking you away on a surprise couples' trip where upon arrival at your luxury hotel room, he would ask you to close your eyes while guiding you to the most romantic room, adorned with rose petals, chilled champagne and bags of gifts...or you had just envisioned waking up to breakfast in bed made by your 3 year old daughter and your loving husband. Alas, here we are! Well, here I am at least; exactly where God wants me to be. Life is funny, isn't it. We think we "need" something so badly or that we deserve it and then wonder why it's happening to everyone else but us (even the ones we think do not deserve it). I'm here to tell you, if it hasn't happened for you, it just hasn't been your time yet! I'll be honest and say I'm convincing myself as well here to an extent and not just you, lol.

I for one, celebrated my birthday with my friends. No man in sight. And that was cool too. This is my season of single, thriving, glowing and growing Brenda! I am accepting that while being open to love, relationships and connections.

I've been on a few dates since my break up but so far, nothing has stuck and that's okay because I know what I'm looking for at this moment. I can weed through time-wasters more quickly, which is a plus. Mind you, I am not in a rush to get married etc. but I also do not wish to waste my time on a temporary situation when I could be giving that precious time to someone more deserving. The DMs may be popping but I look at quality and not quantity :)

I have friends who have been married for over 5 years and I have friends who haven't had a stable relationship in over 5 years. All of them are content with their life at this stage. The single ones enjoy their freedom and the married ones enjoy coming home to their family.

We all have different paths and have to really learn to appreciate our own unique journey. Just because your friend is married, does not mean she/he is happily married. Do NOT let social media fool you or rush you! Do not let nosy "aunties" and "uncles" pressure you. We know how toxic some of these African marriages are, with their outdated ideologies.

If you're single and in your 30s, I want you to know that it's not the end of the world! Ye, Biology is real but how do you FEEL? Your attitude will also attract the right people your way. Enjoy the time alone and time with friends, take care of yourself, try new things, travel, exercise, spend time with loved ones, pick up a new hobby, volunteer at local charities and date!

We're fine!


The Ankara Queen

Bomber jacket: Ankaraloving

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