This is a question I have been struggling with this year. The first question to answer of course is: what is my purpose on Earth? I am yet to find my answer. I'm a 32 year old woman with a career I am still unsure about, a social media community that is not as engaging as it once was and a lack of prospects of a life partner to go through life with. What I am currently doing just does not feel like 'it.' I hope I'm making sense.
We are placed on this Earth not knowing what we are meant to accomplish or achieve and with no guidelines on whether or not we're getting closer to the fulfilment of our objectives or not. Do we actually have any objectives though? Do children who pass away in infanthood leave the physical Earth having completed their purpose? How do we know Kobe Bryant achieved his purpose? Is it because of all the records he broke and awards he won? Did my father, a humble civil servant during his working years and a devote father fulfill his purpose by raising 4 children? Is there a feeling I should be feeling when I am on the right path?
I recently finished reading 'The Power of Now' and it's got me thinking about how I have been living my life. I'm realising that 99% of the things I worry about do not come to pass and so worrying (not problem solving) benefits me in no way.
Secondly, I am being very intentional about being present. We only have now. If a friend is running late, I try to enjoy my waiting time. It's not like I was planning to be anywhere else during the time I had blocked off for our meet up. The present should never be seen as obstacle on my path to the future. All I have is now. There is no guaranteed future.
Thirdly, I am changing my approach to problems as problems do not exist, only situations. What can I do now about a situation that could change it in my favour? I have 3 options when fixed with a situation and ultimately have to pick one: accept it, remove myself from it or change it.
Fourthly, I am reinsuring that I am not seeking my identity through things because things can bring me temporary pleasure but they cannot bring me joy because joy is a state of peace.
Lastly, and probably most importantly, I am trying to define myself without using an ego identifier. Ego identifiers include things like: occupation, relationship, family, social status and even several adjectives and nouns. Who am I really at the core - without any social or ego identifier? That is actually very hard to think of because I really want to say, 'Brenda is a bubbly afropreneur who loves fashion, friends and family.' However, I've managed to mention my career, my family and friends; which are all fine...but they are not ME. They are a part of my life but not a part of me, Brenda Chuinkam.
In my heart of hearts, I know one of my purposes is to bring inspiration, love and hope to many. To which magnitude, I do not yet know but it is my duty to continue this quest of mine. When one person messages me to say something I posted brought them a smile or encouraged them for the rest of their day, my day is made. Might that be my purpose? If that is the case, how do I touch more people? Or am I to do this on a smaller scale? Or is my purpose to be more of a nurturer to someone who will go on to shift the world in some way on a global scale? - Like Mary was to Jesus.
If I were a rich rich person, this would be the point where I take an extended sabbatical seeking answers for myself and consulting with spiritual gurus. In the mean time, I journal and reflect and pray and cry. I'm leaving (or trying to ) certain things up to God and the universe - such as child bearing and marriage (post for another day) while doing what I can in the now to try and answer this question at the forefront of my brain - what is Brenda Chuinkam's purpose on Earth and am I on the path to fuilflling it?
If you have any other book sessions that may enlighten me on this journey, please feel free to share them either in the comments or my DM's.
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